I breathe. I watch sappy movies.
Frustrations
My love affair with old churches
Finally Church and having a place to worship is, but it doesn’t need to be a church with gilded steeples( although they are beautiful) it can be humble, a living room, a place that is sacred and maintained that allows for the beauty, respect and finally God’s voice to filter in.
Extending Grace vs. Making excuses
I try to extend grace before getting angry, not because I want to excuse the wrong but because this is what God wants us to do. He is very clear on being slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry. God wants us to hear and be slow to grow angry. God describes an angry tongue as a horrible sword.
100%
Just being able to sit with me and have coffee relishing in the normalness for a few minutes I’m just a customer at a coffee shop. And our friendship survived because of that support.
Bucket Lists
God said this wasn’t just you thinking this, was me directing.
Curveballs
This creates focus, acceptance and finally healing. Sometimes a curve ball can make us feel bruised and overused. Knowing that God is in control and will manage is hard for someone who likes to plans.
Being a Sponge on Sundays
Self-reflection is hard with poor eyesight. I may have mentioned this before, but I have astigmatism, without my glasses, my world constantly seems tilty and swaying.
Being a Collector
There is order to my collections and joy in the unusual. There is money spent, but at the end of the day, that’s okay because my collections make me smile. They bring me joy and finally help see a glimmer of beauty in a dark world.
Things I’ve learned as a Redhead
Often it is always easier to release my anger than it it is to hold it in check. But the damages that follow are worst than anything else.
Plans
Yes, plans are essential, but so is being spontaneous. Breathing and taking a day that isn's scheduled that is fine too. Life is not about the lists you make but the journey you choose to get there. I don’t make resolutions, but I do take time to breathe. Take time to relax. I still have my lists. Focusing too much on the future distracts from the now and life is lived moment by moment. Moreover, if you are blazing through, then you forget to stop and observe what’s around you.
Dear Friend
Dear Friend, please listen for the cues if I say I’m okay. I may need to tell someone that I had a lousy week and may need someone to say it will be okay. I may say I’m okay not knowing if I am or not. Please don’t just breeze past me taking okay as good.
Pieces of Me
I am horrible at math, grammar, football and with money,
Number 75
I’ve learned that talking about wanting to be parents and not having it happens is hard, but this is a topic that is not discussed — issues like these need to be talked about because this is when the steady rise.
Back to our regularly scheduled program
I have found that both of these aspects of myself can cause me to sin. If I process too much then I am fixating on a problem and being present. If I am more concerned with my other plans usually my plan A fails because of something that is a minor detail that I forgot. Like forgetting to look at hours of operation or if it will rain today
Reflections on 2018
Then I found my voice. I started this blog. It became my soundboard, a place to process my feelings and emotions. It became a safe place for me to process what my busy days were like and how I felt about the world. And with that support, I discovered I wasn’t alone in my struggles. I had a community of people who were praying for me and eager to hear my opinions. I realized I mattered and that
The True Gift for Christmas
I’ve often wondered if Mary, Jesus’s mother, were still alive today if Christmas would be have been hard for her. If Christmas was something she dreaded or rejoiced. She is someone I would love to sit down and drink tea and just ask her how did she have the faith to trust God so completely through her pregnancy and the birth of Jesus. What Sacrifices did she make? I would love to ask her “Mary were you ever afraid or doubtful?”
Feeding Jman
We read ingredients all the time. Even with products, we know he can have because sometimes recipes change. We just went to the store the other day and I think it took a little longer because we were reading ingredients.We never assume Jman can have something even if it says dairy-free on the outside.
Nothing is ever as bad as Chemo
There are hills and valleys and some hills are not worth fighting for. Surrounding yourself with things that make you smile is important. Laughter is important. Deep cleansing breaths and praying about everything.
Rejoicing or Grumbling?
I am checking off a list of things I need to do. I often forget to be rejoicing and glad that today is here and that God allowed me to wake up again.
Exhausted but Still Showing Up.
Today I’m exhausted and my spongy heart is drained. The world seems a little too loud, people seem a little too needy and I am censoring myself to remain Godly and kind.
Hope is the Thing with Feathers
I've heard it in the chillest land— And on the strangest Sea— Yet, never, in Extremity, It asked a crumb—of Me.
Finances Ugh!!!
However, we have been blessed with people who will help out if needed. We always remember that God gives us our paychecks and he helps us use wisdom and care about how we spend our money. We also allow for forgiveness if Jman and I mess up with money. Jman and I argue and talk about money and then we come to decision. We also pray about how the best to use our money. We talk to our parents and discuss it with them.
Learning to love me through makeup
My big brown eyes are perfect. And my lips are fine the way they are. They might be misshapen a little but that’s how God made me.
Why do we have grey skies?
Why do we have grey skies? Is it just for rainbows?
Hardest Christmas!!!
Then I remembered that Jesus was beaten before he died, It was a weird moment where I thought that sounded much worse than getting poked. I was reminded Jesus was human, even though he never sinned he was human. He probably stubbed his toe, stepped on rocks and felt the same pains that I did. For the first time during chemo, something was worst than chemo.
Being an English major changed my reading of the Bible.
Then we are giving the new believer a watered down version of the bible that fits our wants and desires.
Lord of the Keep
The dragon of great might Slowly creeps In the darkest night
Zoos in Life
She could take pictures, watch shows, walk around. There were often no people who would make life feel uncomfortable for her.
A Confession: Dreams of Adopting
It takes patience, planning and of course praying. God in charge and knows what’s in my heart. I have to believe as a young girl with dreams of a big family with many cultures was a God-given dream.
If
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much;
Bonus Blog: Thursdays
I am often more aware on days that I’m of unexpected blessings. Like hummingbirds, gratitude and sometimes even making a connection with my students that I work with. Unexpected blessings are my favorite blessings because they help remind me that God is in control. Just like this morning where I feel drained to barely function, God tugged at my heart to share my heart.
Comics and Belonging
We protect the bullied, stand up to the bullies and respect each other.
Peace is Simple
But this summer, I decided that the only way to check off some of the things in my bucket list is to take a step forward by faith and go back to school.
She walks in Beauty
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Reflections of 52 blogs
My faith in God has become less polluted. Many times before I started my blog, I would have burdens place on my heart. I am a processor, I process everything, it’s like being a sponge but I have to think about everything.
Storms on the Horizon
I starred it down hoping the winds blow it out, however, the rain bands come in torrents and far between.
New Firsts, New Milestones
First story shared
Fills me with remembrance and determination
First warrior met
Fills me with compassion
Being a Light in a dark world.
Now being in the middle is a choice as well, just because I don’t land in a right or left camp doesn’t mean that I didn’t make a choice.
Reflections on the last 2 years
often I feel the conversation between God and I is one-sided.
The Raven
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
Bonus Blog, How I deal with Stress.
Gratefulness is the only ingredient that banishes hurt, pain, tiredness, and self-doubt.
Musing on Music, reflections of a music junky.
Music has been something at the end of the day it calms me, when my fears are unbearable it has scared away the shadows and negative thoughts.
Cancer still Impacts my life
Life is precious and short. Grudges don’t matter. Forgiveness is a gift, gratefulness is the only option.
Palm Trees
They are dancing
Swaying to the music
Comparison Steals My Joy and Sunlight
But this is the life God gave me. It’s mine and some of our struggles are from choices we made and some are not. it's what God gave me. And I wouldn't change it.
It’s Tea Season
It’s Tea Season!!!!. The air in the morning is cooler, and my favorite way to start off a day besides reading my Bible is sipping a cup of hot tea.
Little Bird
Little bejeweled bird
On a Sunday
you were a gift from Him
I clasped you to remember that everything would be fine
you were still near
life continues
the earth still spins like your hyperactive wings.
Listening to God.
And sharing my story is not easy it feels like a small piece of my heart breaks when I do but I always hear an urging from God to share.
My Parents
Mother is a gypsy, dreamer, and kind. Papa Bear is smart, hardworking and prays unceasingly, and loves to laugh Together my parents balance each other and are an unshakable team, a united force to be reckoned with.
A Bird came down the walk
Than Oars divide the Ocean, Too silver for a seam, Or Butterflies, off Banks of Noon, Leap, plashless as they swim.
If we Shadows Have Offended
It's Poetry Saturday and I have been so busy this week that I almost forgot about Poetry Saturday!!! If We Shadows have Offended, From Midsummer's Night Dream By William Shakespeare If we shadows have offended,Think but this and all is mended,That you have but slumber'd hereWhile these visions did appear.And this weak and idle theme,No…
