Danie with an E reflections

This is a different kind of Hope. This hope takes the fear away from death. It’s a hope of forgiveness. It’s the hope that regardless of what I do and however I mess up. God will love me and forgive me. It’s about choice. Having a relationship with God is a choice. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a choice. Choosing to follow God every single day and forgiving myself on the days I stray is a choice. Easter is the epilogue of the story. It’s the post credit scene for a movie where the ending is not great. It’s the hope of something more. Easter is a promise of a better life and the promise that there is light at the end of the tunnel of life.

New normal is not easy. There are days when routine helps. However, there are still days when I feel the familiar cold sensation of being back in the doctor's chair and feeling like I'm still going through it.

Vacation is important. It those moments to breathe, reflect and just be. It's a time to observe God’s beautiful world.

I keep my eyes focused on God, on things I need to do around my life. I take joy in conversations with people who didn’t know I needed to talk to someone who just loves me for me. Like Sis who out of the blue IMed me last week and it was like a balm to my hard heart.

During these moments of sadness, I remember to fix my eyes on God and remember to allow myself to be forgiving of myself. I also ask for peace.

However, Jman has taught me that Jesus wanted the idea of love to be without filters or blinders. It doesn’t discriminate by orientation, skin color, favorite superhero, football team, or even political understanding. It does not discriminate by religion or IQ.

Being creative takes practice and bravery. Sis is an artist. She actually has published 3 comic books. She also loves to draw. She loves anything that has to do with creating with art. She is one of the most creative people I know.

SO I’ve done TV interviews, public presentations, and finally, things where I talk in front of people, and it's never easy but this what God wants from me.

Reading has been my escape, much like this blog has been a sounding board for my life, reading has shaped my life to examine the world, be observant and it's okay to get lost in a book.

God in charge of our finances, he is in charge of how many breaths I take, and he knows how many hairs on my head. He also knows what interactions are going to happen. He knows what events I will go to and who will be there and if what they say will make me upset.

God gives us challenging relationships to remember to love and pray for those people we don’t get along. Another thing to remember is to pray for forgiveness on your end.

We even try to go on dates while we are on vacation. I know what your thinking, you are already spending money on holiday. But taking time out of the hustle and bustle of even being on vacation is essential.

I breathe. I watch sappy movies.

Finally Church and having a place to worship is, but it doesn’t need to be a church with gilded steeples( although they are beautiful) it can be humble, a living room, a place that is sacred and maintained that allows for the beauty, respect and finally God’s voice to filter in.

I try to extend grace before getting angry, not because I want to excuse the wrong but because this is what God wants us to do. He is very clear on being slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry. God wants us to hear and be slow to grow angry. God describes an angry tongue as a horrible sword.

God said this wasn’t just you thinking this, was me directing.

This creates focus, acceptance and finally healing. Sometimes a curve ball can make us feel bruised and overused. Knowing that God is in control and will manage is hard for someone who likes to plans.

There is order to my collections and joy in the unusual. There is money spent, but at the end of the day, that’s okay because my collections make me smile. They bring me joy and finally help see a glimmer of beauty in a dark world.

Yes, plans are essential, but so is being spontaneous. Breathing and taking a day that isn's scheduled that is fine too. Life is not about the lists you make but the journey you choose to get there. I don’t make resolutions, but I do take time to breathe. Take time to relax. I still have my lists. Focusing too much on the future distracts from the now and life is lived moment by moment. Moreover, if you are blazing through, then you forget to stop and observe what’s around you.