Good Afternoon, Today is my 200 blog. Its also a Friday blog, which rarely happens. When I started this blog, I didn’t realize that this would be therapeutic and that I would have people who want to hear my voice on things.
I started this blog on the advice of a dear friend. Truthfully my introvert non-confrontational self laughed at the writer’s heart, who wanted to make a career about writing. However, I also made a promise to God after I got with done with Cancer treatments that every time God allowed me to share my voice, I would.
Truthfully this goes across my nature. I am an introverted and private person. I also don’t like to express that I am hurting or need help. I also don’t like confrontations. I am spongy hearted and over-analyze everything. I live with headaches and anxiety.
So you are asking Danie why you would want to start a blog. And truthfully, when it was suggested to me, I balked at the idea, though it would fizzle out in a month, but then God reminded of my promise. And so I did like I always do I jumped in. And writing a blog was cheaper than publishing a book. And I wanted to share my poetry with the world. Never would think I sitting her that I amazed that I wrote 200 hundred blogs. However, God was doing his God things, and people found what I have to say is relevant.
I discovered a few things about myself.
I realized that being vulnerable never lead to the ceiling falling in. There have been many blogs where I said to myself that the roof will fall in, and I would be suffocated in allowing the world to see how I really am. It never happened. Being vulnerable allowed me to be open with how I was feeling and what I think is so important, after all my years of telling myself that I don’t matter or that my thoughts don’t matter. I am talented, and I have a viewpoint that people like to listen too.
I also learned that its okay to be honest when I am having a bad day. There is a beauty in being broken. The only way God can shine his light is through the cracks. Brokenness doesn’t make me less of a Christian. It doesn’t make me less of a person. It makes me a person who is struggling and embracing the struggle. And trying to stay positive during the battle.
I’ve learned that my faith in God is absolute, even in the darkest days. To scare away the anxiety, Christian music is a mainstay, tea is a mainstay, and a group of safe prayer warriors sends prayers when I am struggling. Sometimes when I am fighting, it is hard to pray. When you have a headache and anxiety and can’t sleep, sending off a prayer request helps me know that others are praying for me when I am focusing on just feeling like smiling again. And it helps me feel better and improve my day gets better.
My struggles are not small. However, everyone has struggles. My issues are not singular. Everyone has struggles. And the compassion comes when I am listening to someone else mention their efforts without asking about mine. I strive to be a safe person because I am the person who accidentally reveals Christmas gifts or surprise parties. I strive to keep secrets secret. Because I know I can be unreliable. However, all troubles are the same. They carry the same weight; there are no Richter scales for struggles. We cannot judge one person’s difficulties over another.
This blog has always been a place for me to be me. Some days it is hard to speak the truth in love with honesty and not slew mud at people who hurt me. And sometimes, I have to remind myself that yes, naming names is more straightforward and current. People drop names all the time. However, my identity in Christ compels me to make issues anonymous. Because being mean is easy. But being christ like and not dragging someone through the mud is hard. Being kind is hard, loving is hard, and forgiving is hard. But being mean and easy is not enough.
Blogging is very different than Fanfiction writing. Fanfiction writing is about creating a world. Blogging is about how I navigate the world and what God places on my heart. Both are very therapeutic, however, for differences. Writing fanfictions creates a fictional world that I can control. Blogging is about a world that I cannot control but strive to understand from a follower of Christ’s perspective. Fanfiction gets wrapped up neatly in a beautiful bow, and I walk away feeling satisfied. But often, when I am blogging, I don’t have closure. But I do have peace. The peace that I’m struggling with God is in control of it. He is watching and working in ways I don’t even see.
Finally, I learned the importance of gratitude.
Thank you to the 98 people who follow this blog. Thank you to the Tumblr friends who like this blog. Thank you to all my Instagram followers who like the blog. Thank you to everyone who has shared my blog, commented, who interacts with me in real life who are friends who have shared that my thoughts and feelings are essential. Thank you to everyone who took an introverted non-confrontational spongy hearted woman who often feels she is not important and is an important person with thoughts and feelings. Thank you for coming on this ride with me and being patient with me as I navigate the world through my writing. Also, thank you for your forgiveness and acceptance. Because as I navigate the world, I also make mistakes.
Here is to 200 more blogs.
“‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
TTFN and God Bless and Keep you:)