The answer that gives me hope is that my heavenly father has already accepted me and forgave me. He allows me with open arms and takes all my flaws and makes them beautiful.

I took pictures and revealed in God's beautiful creations. I spent time with Jman without talking about adulting and we just relished being best friends.

It’s not something I am proud of, but that just where my brain goes. The only time I didn’t expect the worst was when I was diagnosed with cancer. I know here is another blog about cancer, but it’s May. And much like Septemeber, I always feel more competitive about my cancer story.

I need to be kinder to myself. I need to cut myself a break when I struggle with fandom or with what someone says something not so lovely. I need to forgive myself for the mistakes I made. I need to acknowledge that sometimes I am tired and that it's okay to nap. And by taking a nap does not mean my Cancer has come back. I need to be honest with myself.

Taking pictures has become a peaceful activity that during stressful times it makes my brain shift to calm and focused instead of reeling.