Surviving life with fandom, poetry, reflections, and finally Faith. Take each moment as it comes and remember that courage cannot erase my fear but courage is when I face that fear.
I think writing fanfictions was that first step of bravery to publish my thoughts online. It was the first step to be accepting of people’s criticism. I am the type that if you say something in a negative tone toward me, I will backtrack to make you happy.
Mustard seed faith is not a checklist faith. It’s not an achievement unlocked. It just has faith in those times when I need to call out to God the most. It is having names for my future children even though I don’t know if this will happen. It’s praying to God to help with our finances when a change made and being aware that he has. It’s looking forward to a vacation and praying for that vacation. It’s praying for your spouse and seeing them become good-natured and slow to become angry. Faith like a mustard seed is those everyday moments when you call out to God and trust that he has control over your life. It is reading your Bible every day to keep the relationship with God alive, even though you may not hear God speaking. It is praying for dinner and giving thanks for the food.
This is a different kind of Hope. This hope takes the fear away from death. It’s a hope of forgiveness. It’s the hope that regardless of what I do and however I mess up. God will love me and forgive me. It’s about choice. Having a relationship with God is a choice. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a choice. Choosing to follow God every single day and forgiving myself on the days I stray is a choice. Easter is the epilogue of the story. It’s the post credit scene for a movie where the ending is not great. It’s the hope of something more. Easter is a promise of a better life and the promise that there is light at the end of the tunnel of life.
It’s no secret that Jman and I like to collect movies, we have over 300. We have classics like Oklahoma and Shawshank Redemption, to newer films such as Zootopia and The Legend of Tarzan.
New normal is not easy. There are days when routine helps. However, there are still days when I feel the familiar cold sensation of being back in the doctor's chair and feeling like I'm still going through it.
Thank You, God, for the challenges that will happen this week and when I am going through it will be so tired and frustrated to remember to say thank you.
I often wake up with a song stuck in head. It’s a nagging, and when I have a song stuck in my head, I can’t think of anything until I listen to that song again. This morning was no exception. I heard that song and was able to move on. My brain works so weirdly sometimes.
Vacation is important. It those moments to breathe, reflect and just be. It's a time to observe God’s beautiful world.
I keep my eyes focused on God, on things I need to do around my life. I take joy in conversations with people who didn’t know I needed to talk to someone who just loves me for me. Like Sis who out of the blue IMed me last week and it was like a balm to my hard heart.
Danie with an E reflections 
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