Surviving life with fandom, poetry, reflections, and finally Faith. Take each moment as it comes and remember that courage cannot erase my fear but courage is when I face that fear.
It’s not something I am proud of, but that just where my brain goes. The only time I didn’t expect the worst was when I was diagnosed with cancer. I know here is another blog about cancer, but it’s May. And much like Septemeber, I always feel more competitive about my cancer story.
I need to be kinder to myself. I need to cut myself a break when I struggle with fandom or with what someone says something not so lovely. I need to forgive myself for the mistakes I made. I need to acknowledge that sometimes I am tired and that it's okay to nap. And by taking a nap does not mean my Cancer has come back. I need to be honest with myself.
Today I am thankful for Christ and his sacrifice, that I am forgiven and loved by the creator of the universe. I am grateful for my readers, who allow me to write and be a writer who has been my dream for years. I am thankful for the hope that comes with sunrises. I am grateful for mornings like today where the anxiety is not drowning me.
Life sometimes is taking two steps forward and sometimes 3 steps back and with challenges makes us grow. They help us mature and become more whole. This is the way that God designed it, and yes sometimes I get frustrated and stressed. But I also know that God provides, he knows my heart and that someday those wants will be granted. It is about being patient and entirely relying on God even during bad times.
Taking pictures has become a peaceful activity that during stressful times it makes my brain shift to calm and focused instead of reeling.
Fandoms that Surprised me    I took a mental break on Monday, that's why there was no blog. Monday started with taking the car that we have owned for six months to get the brakes fixed only to be told that it was much more expensive then it the vehicle is worth.  That sent us into … Continue reading Fandoms that Surprised me
I think writing fanfictions was that first step of bravery to publish my thoughts online. It was the first step to be accepting of people’s criticism. I am the type that if you say something in a negative tone toward me, I will backtrack to make you happy.
Mustard seed faith is not a checklist faith. It’s not an achievement unlocked. It just has faith in those times when I need to call out to God the most. It is having names for my future children even though I don’t know if this will happen. It’s praying to God to help with our finances when a change made and being aware that he has. It’s looking forward to a vacation and praying for that vacation. It’s praying for your spouse and seeing them become good-natured and slow to become angry. Faith like a mustard seed is those everyday moments when you call out to God and trust that he has control over your life. It is reading your Bible every day to keep the relationship with God alive, even though you may not hear God speaking. It is praying for dinner and giving thanks for the food.
This is a different kind of Hope. This hope takes the fear away from death. It’s a hope of forgiveness. It’s the hope that regardless of what I do and however I mess up. God will love me and forgive me. It’s about choice. Having a relationship with God is a choice. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a choice. Choosing to follow God every single day and forgiving myself on the days I stray is a choice. Easter is the epilogue of the story. It’s the post credit scene for a movie where the ending is not great. It’s the hope of something more. Easter is a promise of a better life and the promise that there is light at the end of the tunnel of life.
It’s no secret that Jman and I like to collect movies, we have over 300. We have classics like Oklahoma and Shawshank Redemption, to newer films such as Zootopia and The Legend of Tarzan.
Danie with an E reflections 
You must be logged in to post a comment.