Easter is almost here.

   Easter is next Sunday, and I reflect. Easter used to be one of my favorite holidays. I think I liked it because I got to wear a fancy dress and a fancy hat, and received chocolate and gifts. As a child, we would go to church and then to my aunts, and it would be games and fun. It was idyllic. And I totally missed the point of Easter.

   As an adult, Easter became a hard holiday. It started with a Good Friday service that made me reflective and sad, wondering how God could send his son to die for me. How could Jesus die for me, someone who is so flawed? After Cancer, I became very aware of the suffering Jesus went through the lashes and crown of thorns. In my mind, I knew what suffering was, and it didn’t compare to my beloved Savior’s. Mine had relief and moments of reprieve. Jesus’s suffering didn’t have an end. I would leave Good Friday service feeling sad.

   Then Sunday would roll around and It was a celebration about Jesus rose again. I was overjoyed for the hope in the story. That Jesus saves.

   The past couple of Easters have been especially hard. Our church is wonderful, they do a brunch, and Easter egg hunt, and we fellowship. It is all fun. But for myself wanting kids, Easter is one of those holidays that is hard. Because I’m watching other families and feeling left out. It one of those moments that I feel like I don’t belong. As Jman and I were discussing what we wanted to do for Easter this year, We mentioned that we wanted to spend time together away from family.  

   There are some holidays that just make us feel like because we have no kids, that we are less of a family than other families because we don’t have kids. And I know this storm will rage and I will feel sad.  Sad that I don’t have kids, Sad that Jesus had to pay the ultimate price, Sometimes missing my family who lives in Southern California.

   But this isn’t what Easter is about.  Easter is about sacrifice. It’s about Jesus giving his life for me, for everyone. Easter is about Hope. (I always laugh at the idea of Hope nowadays, I relate to Super Man from Man of Steel when he says that S on his suits means hope) This is a different kind of Hope. This hope takes the fear away from death. It’s a hope of forgiveness. It’s the hope that regardless of what I do and however I mess up. God will love me and forgive me. It’s about choice. Having a relationship with God is a choice. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a choice. Choosing to follow God every single day and forgiving myself on the days I stray is a choice. Easter is the epilogue of the story. It’s the post credit scene for a movie where the ending is not great. It’s the hope of something more.  Easter is a promise of a better life and the promise that there is light at the end of the tunnel of life.

   Easter is a time for mourning, and rejoicing, and melancholy, and laughing, and sadness, and beauty. It’s a holiday that reflects Ecclesiastes so beautifully. But most importantly it is about the Sacrifice of a man who was innocent, who didn’t know me but died for me. It’s about God knowing that the world is messed up and after many attempts to have his people follow him, he needed to sacrifice his only son to save the world. This is what Easter is about.  I choose to focus on this, but that doesn’t mean I ignore the massive thunderheads on the horizon, no I stare them down. Because Easter is hope. I have hope that someday I’ll have kids to teach about Easter. I know God knows my heart and his plans are best.

Matthew 27:54

When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

TTFN and God Bless you and keep you. Happy Easter He Is Risen, He is Risen Indeed.

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