Today

Today is a day that I am not mad at the world, I am not upset about anything, we got paid, and life seems to settle down as far as big decisions. Nobody died in my fandoms recently, and today is one of the rare days that I feel content. It is like a fresh breath air on a humid day.

As a cancer patient, I would love the 5th day after chemo when suddenly the ever-present body aches and headache were relieved. It never entirely went away, but the pain was manageable. On those days, I would go for short walks, go to the store, and finally reenter the world that I had cloistered myself in. And I would rejoice that pain was gone and I somewhat felt like myself.

It was a little thing but huge for being able to survive and live. So now there are things I don’t take for granted. Some of the items are the people that God brings into my life just when I need it most. 

On Sunday, when I was struggling, a good friend of mine texted me and wrote what I needed to hear. At that moment any number of friends I had didn’t matter, this friend was the one who cared enough to walk with me in suffering. It wasn’t a long conversation, but meaningful. 

Its always amazes me how God ordains my friends. He knows who I need in my life and what time. When I met Jman, I didn’t have a lot of friends. Let alone friends who were believers, but Jman went to a bible study, and I went along. Suddenly I had friends checking in and challenging my faith. I grew as a person and believer. 

Today I am grateful for my friends. I am thankful for friends who have become like family. Who checks in on me during the dark days and pray for me when I reach out for prayers. I am grateful for Jman and his encouraging and never wants to send a bazooka to the relationships I ship. Today I am thankful for my family, especially my sweet sister who checks in at random times, but it’s always appreciated. Today I am grateful for stress-free and pain-free days. I am thankful for the pendulum of emotions that even though I had a bad day on Sunday that today, I am calm and happy. Today I am grateful for stores like Whole Foods that make foods for Jman’s complicated diet. 

Today I am thankful for tv shows that I’ve watched for years and bringing old characters back. I’m grateful for a site such as Tumblr and Pinterest where the girl who use to save screen captures of couples on her computer can use this app. Today I’m thankful for it being May and which mean we have only a few more weeks until we leave on Vacation. Today I am grateful for people who trust us and will help through the hard times. 

Today I am thankful for my computer, which allows me to write fanfictions and blogs. I am grateful for money for working hard.  Today I am thankful for quiet mornings that don’t need music to scare away the anxiety.

Today I am thankful for Students who are working so hard and learning, and even though they might not feel like learning, they still show up. I am grateful for students who check in with me. And also though I am a teacher, I am Christian and follower of, and I still need to Christ to this community. 

Today I am thankful for silk flowers, which give my apartment pops of color. I am grateful for mermaids and super, which make my apartment feel cozy. I am thankful for the movie collection that I own because it means I can watch something that I love. 

Today I am thankful for Christ and his sacrifice, that I am forgiven and loved by the creator of the universe. I am grateful for my readers, who allow me to write and be a writer who has been my dream for years. I am thankful for the hope that comes with sunrises. I am grateful for mornings like today where the anxiety is not drowning me. 


What are you thankful for?

Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
Ecclesiastes 11:5

TTFN and God BLess and Keep You

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