New Normal

   If you are not familiar with this term, it usually used to describe a way of life that has changed. I admitted when I was going through cancer treatments; this term scared me and made me frustrated. Primarily when the old normal was so fresh in my mind. I was recently watching a show where they used this term in a laughingly matter. And I laughed along with the colorful character who used it.  If I had watched this show in 2012, I probably would have cried at the use of this.

   I rejected my new normal tooth and nail, after cancer treatments, some significant changes were harder to swallow than others. The anxiety attacks and anger over the chemo brain made me feel like I could never be Danie again. The aches and pains and scar twinges made it seem like every single day I was back amid chemo treatments.  Small things like now liking cheesecake and not enjoying roller coasters as much stayed with me. Or my stomach turning over at the smell of rubbing alcohol. Strong friendships moved forward and broke apart. Life continued, I went back to work and in typical Danie fashion jumped back into trying to embrace the new normal of my life.

   Jman and I became busy with working multiple jobs and just trying to survive a new normal of being married, paying bills, taking care of each other, and finally making sure that Cancer doesn’t come back.  Often if you ask Jman and me about our marriage, we say we feel like we have been married longer than it actually feels.

   New normal is not easy. There are days when routine helps. However, there are still days when I feel the familiar cold sensation of being back in the doctor’s chair and feeling like I’m still going through it.

I still have days that my anger over getting cancer overwhelms. I still have days when I am sad about how my life has changed. I have days that I rejoice that I was able to make it to a new normal.  As I settle into the new standard and forget the old normal, the pain lessens. And sometimes new is terrible just different. And it looks different for each person. It gets better, and soon a new normal become just ordinary.

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Romans 5:6-8

TTFN and God Bless and Keep you

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