Dear Friend

Dear friend, I love you dearly, but please know that when you were complaining about lack of sleep and how hard it is to have kids. I know you weren’t, but my heart was breaking. Because I would love to have a child who didn’t sleep at night. It’s not in God’s will right now, and I am okay waiting for when God says yes but it that doesn’t mean it takes away the hurt and shame and self-doubt because I don’t have kids. I wanted to be a good listener but I couldn’t.

Dear Friend, Thank you for asking when we will have kids. Truthfully I don’t know. I’m not even sure its what God wants for us at times. Right now he is controlling that aspect of my and Jman’s lives. But it hurts to be asked because it reminds me of the “biological clock.” Right now I’m going back to school and trying to make a foundation for our family. But It’s still hard not to be able to answer this question.

Dear Friend, Congrats on expecting. I believe every baby is a gift from God. Please don’t judge me if I say yes to come to your baby shower only at the last minute to cancel. Please know that I’m thrilled for you, but situations like these make my heart sad and bring up a lot of unpleasant feelings for myself.

Dear Friend, If we choose to spoil your child, smile and hug us and know that this what God has placed on our hearts right now. We love your Child and want to show the love of Jesus to them. And Shower them with care and gifts and hugs.

Dear Friend,  If I don’t come up and hug you after your baby’s dedication. Please know that I love you, but I am so stuck in comparing my life with yours. Please know I’m rejoicing with you, but I won’t be able to hug you right now.

Dear Friend, when you see me working in the nursery, please know that it is what I’m doing to survive. Serving God and loving on babies is my way of getting through this hard time of wanting and wishing and praying and waiting. Be compassionate and loving when I seem flustered.

Dear Friend, please listen for the cues if I say I’m okay. I may need to tell someone that I had a lousy week and may need someone to say it will be okay. I may say I’m okay not knowing if I am or not. Please don’t just breeze past me taking okay as good.

Dear Friend, Thank you for your encouragement and saying You would be a great parent. These words of hope distill the word of self-doubt. Thank you for rejoicing with us and praying with us. Thank you for walking this road with us.

Dear Friend, Thank you for encouraging Jman and me to continue to focus on us that our relationship is about us. Thank You for never pressuring us or making us feel like our lives are not complete with children.

Dear Friend Thank you for crying with us and standing with us on the hard days. Your hugs, and love and support mean the world to us. I know that this walk is hard and to have you there to catch us is fantastic.

Dear friend, you offered advice and loved on us. Gave us books and just listened. I thank God for you every day. I am so blessed to have someone love on us and care for us and understands those dark days happen but so do sunny day and rejoicing days.

Finally, Dear Friend, Thank you for dying on the cross and giving your life for us. So we might be free. Thank you for your care and love and plan. Your plan is always better than mine, and even though it seems like it will never happen, I trust that you know my hearts desires. Dear friend thank you for being there and guiding and helping me through the dark days.

Luke 22:25:

25 Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’

TTFN and God Bless and Keep you.

2 thoughts on “Dear Friend

  1. W-O-W! What an unexpected, yet very enlightening ending. All along I thought you were talking to your earthly friends… and you were, but you were also talking to Jesus. I am so thankful God brought you into our lives, your light shines so brightly. “Iron sharpeneth iron.” In His time God will give you the desires of your heart because of your faith and trust in Him. -Bobbi

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  2. I was so touched by your piece here two days ago. I became emotional. It gave me a different insight to life and family. I am single and in my thirties and about to embark on my journey in Medicine to become a Clinical Doctor. A lot of respect and aroha (love from New Zealand) to you and your family. Arohanui, Leina xx

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