Okay, I’m going, being honest. I am not one for resolutions because I usually forgot, get lazy or find my interest wanes. So I don’t make them, but in a way I do. I make a goal like to see movies or read my bible more or to pray or to try new things. Things that are not huge. I’m a big believer in bucket lists and plans as we all know if you read previous blogs.
For many years I did not want to plan anything. My plan shattered and so planning for the future was out. Now God’s plan was very different, and hindsight is 20/20 but being afraid to prepare for the future put into a place of distrust. It probably took years to a point when I could plan again, and someone who helped with that was Jman. Which ironic because he is so fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy.
When he and I started dating, I knew I didn’t want to waste time dating other people. I wanted my relationship with Jman to be a courtship. If you don’t understand what courtship is, it is the idea that you date someone with the intent to marry. I watched friends and cousins go through heartache and frustration over breakups and decided that nope I don’t want that for myself. Jman knew this from the beginning. About two years or three years in he told me I could start planning the future with him. I hadn’t thought about it before because when I was single, I thought I would never get married. So I kept lists. Then when we got engaged. We planned our wedding together. It was a perfect blend of him and I but also glorifying God and honoring our families who had stood with us.
Shortly after we got married, I started a different list, a list of kids names that I loved. No, we are not expecting. However, I was excited about the thought of starting a family together in the future. I was in no hurry, and I was enjoying married life. Then cancer happened. Any plans changed to moment by moment plans.
Moment by moment plans is a mix of a more comfortable and harder plan. It means to have the flexibility to say okay that didn’t happen let’s do this but also because moment by moment is such a short time. Any plans that I would make were usually around doctor appointments and chemo treatments. We would plan for someone to stay with me only to have them get sick, and we would call another family member and can we come over. I wouldn’t feel good one moment and then maybe an hour or two would feel good. My only plan at that time to survive. After cancer and treatments are over. I could plan my future again, but I had a new view of plans.
Yes, plans are essential, but so is being spontaneous. Breathing and taking a day that isn’s scheduled that is fine too. Life is not about the lists you make but the journey you choose to get there. I don’t make resolutions, but I do take time to breathe. Take time to relax. I still have my lists. Focusing too much on the future distracts from the now and life is lived moment by moment. Moreover, if you are blazing through, then you forget to stop and observe what’s around you.
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.
TTFN and God Bless you and Keep you:)