Reflections from 8 years of marriage.
Jman and I have been married 8 years this week. It’s funny because some days we think it was just yesterday that we said “I do” and other times it feels like we have been married for a lot longer.
He is my first boyfriend, my first kiss and that’s really special that we get to spend the rest of our lives together.
Our marriage isn’t perfect but it is strong. We fight over silly stuff. We struggle over big stuff. We laugh at funny movies and we strive to stick together.
In our 8 years together we have moved 4 times, changed jobs, dealt with family moving away, started a Bible study, rekindled relationships, lost relationships, been ships in the night where the only time we saw each other was a 45 minute time period, taken vacations together, taken trips away from each other, and dealt with loss, struggled with wanting to become parents and waiting on God’s timing and finally beat cancer.
It’s a lot however this has made us stronger. Here are some reflections from our marriage.
1. We pray for each other
We pray for each other. I know this sounds like a no-brainer but it has made rely on each other throughout the day at work. Some days are just hard and if I can shoot off a prayer request to Jman and know he will pray it makes my day feel a little better.
2. Going to Church with each other is important.
We go to church together. There have been times when work has been a priority. I’ve found that our relationship is stronger when we can sit in God’s house and worship and commune together.
3. Jman and I are very different gamers.
Jman is methodical and I am haphazard. He uses strategy and I button mash. He stays calm and I panic. Jman is a gamer and I am not. But it’s okay. He has a different way of playing the game strategically and systematically. I play to either get away from the bad guys or to turn off the blaring alarm. For Jman video games are stress relief. For myself, they are stress inducer. But I still encourage him to buy games. We are different and that okay, we encourage love and interests.
4. We are devoted to each other.
I know this sounds extremely outdated. But we are the type of couple across the room who make eye contact and can read each other minds. We check in.
5. We still go on dates.
We go on dates. Dinner and movie dates. We go to plays. Walk around the mall dates. Mini golf dates. Dates are very important. It’s that time when we spend an hour or 2 forgetting about life and enjoying each other’s company.
6. We explore.
We love to explore. We love to try new things together. We love to go somewhere new. And we always say that if we didn’t get to do something then we have to come back. We are not afraid to try things together.
7. It is important to encourage each other’s interest.
Jman loves football. I don’t. He can watch his team when they are on. I love funko pops. Jman likes them but he’s okay when I purchase a new one. He an I love comics and if Comic-Con is coming around we go together. We encourage each other to invest in our interests.
8. We argue and fight but we always apologize.
We argue over stupid things like where to eat. We fight over which show to watch. No matter what makes us frustrated we apologize because our relationship is more important than the issue.
9. Sometimes we compromise and that makes the other person mad.
Does any other couple have this problem? We compromise and it ends up backfiring and make the other mad. It happens and we forgive and learn from it and pray it doesn’t happen again. We also learn from it.
10. We don’t tease about getting a divorce.
Jman comes from a divorced family. We don’t tease that we will find someone better or that there is another person better out there. We don’t use divorce as an option. It’s not one.
12. We talk about everything.
We talk about everything. From Who would win in a fight against Superman and Wolverine? (Wolverine). To whom we think about who should be president. We discuss laws. We discuss who is the best Disney princess. How we would spend Thanksgiving. Our conversations sometimes are nonsensical but we talk about everything.
13. We don’t keep secrets
Secrets are not a thing in our marriage. We even ask if we are talking to someone else and that person shares a problem Jman and I always ask if we can share it our spouse. We are a united front and secrets are not even a thing in our marriage.
14. We are honest with each other
Honesty is very important. We strive to be honest with the other. Sometimes honesty comes with bluntness and hurt feelings but we are honest with each other. If we do hurt each other feelings we strive to ask for forgiveness.
15 God is the center of our relationship.
This is the most important thing about our relationship. God is in the center. He helps us make decisions. He guides our path. He gives and takes away. We don’t ask why. We trust God and know that he will help through whatever He brings our way. The only way through the hard times is to trust God. We know God has a better plan than ours.
Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
TTFN and God Bless and Keep you