Life as an empath.
I am an empath or as I like to refer to it as a sponge. Saying an empath makes me sound like an X-men. Sponge describes it better. Life as a sponge is not easy. I observe, absorb, and process everything.
What do I mean by that you ask?
I observe everything. From social situations, too dangerous objects falling, to lost items (except my own). It helps me gauge every situation and how to approach it. Which helps but most of the times it causes me to make assumptions. And sometimes I fail and fall on my face. It’s nobody’s fault except my own.
I absorb everything. From music, backhanded compliments, lack of connection and hurtful words. Things get into absorbed into my heart and I have to then deal with the repercussions. Some as simple as having a song stuck in my head for a week til by the end of the week I’m sick of that song. Other things though are a lot harder mean comments, that carry barbs and then my heart hurts for days. Or an uncomfortable situation that causes me to self-examine myself for days. I cry at commercials, and during arguments and sometimes life.
I process everything. From Bible verses to friends getting into accidents, new people getting cancer and even relationships (or ships) in tv or movies. Bible verses are one of my favorite things. I question everything from if Jman takes an alternate route to work to why someone is doing something. I question if a proposed couple in a tv or movie should ship. I find myself frustrated with the writers if there is no ship. I analyze everything from compliments that laden with hidden meanings. My mind jumps to worst case scenarios. If Jman is late for work. My mind automatically goes to he is in a ditch and his phone has been carried off by a raccoon.
I accept that these are my faults however it can make life very hard. I overreact to things. I fixate on things. I worry about things. I argue to God about how I am. I cry.
I have come up with some tips to help navigate life.
Everyone has their own lily pads. This idea is that I can’t change other people. Everyone has their own lily pad. The only things I can change is when their lily pad bumps into mine and how I choose to respond is key.
Have someone whom you trust to pull you out of your thoughts. Jman is that for me. He constantly reminds me to be present. If I’m having a bad day he listens. He also validates my feelings that I’m feeling.
3 days period sometimes 5 days period. I don’t like to fixate on things but it happens often. I try to give myself 3 days to fixate on things. If things really upset me I take five days. I know it’s a slippery slope because if I fixate on something more than 3 days it will usually be more than a week.
I trust my heart. Which is weird because sometimes my emotions are jumbled. Once I can clear out the emotions I listen to what my Heavenly Father is saying about the situation. What thoughts have I pushed aside but have happened more than once?
I pray about everything. Little things like lost items, big things like career decisions, to dreams. God has no limit about what he can handle. On very hard days. I consult others who are wiser and have more experience.
I also take moments of quiet. Quiet to listen, quiet to think, quiet to breathe. If life gets too heavy I unplug. I take those moments to declutter life.
I bake. I bake cookies, cake, usually something easy and chocolaty. If I feel like my world is absorbing me, baking is a way for me to clear my head and focus on something small.
I try not to belittle my emotions. They are true. And how frustrating they make me. Belittling myself for feeling makes me even more frustrated. I acknowledge that fact that I approach life differently, which causes me to check my reactions. Sometimes my reactions are wrong and then I apologize. I own it. However, sometimes they are not off and telling myself that this situation created my scared puppy side to flare up is God’s way to direct me.
I ask for forgiveness. From people. From God. When my emotions send me into a headspin and my sponginess makes the world hurt. I ask for the forgiveness because usually, my reaction is less than stellar. I apologize because I know it always takes two to tangle and even if I’m not at fault, I probably said or did something because I was scared to protect myself.
I forgive even if they don’t ask forgiveness. I forgive because that’s what the Bible says. I forgive because I know it’s a slippery slope into bitterness not to forgive. I forgive because then I can make peace with the situation. Life is too short to carry grudges. God wants us to Forgive others. Forgiveness is easier than allowing something faster.
2 Corinthians 2: 5-8
5 I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. 6 Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. 7 Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overcome by discouragement.8 So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.
Are you an Empath?
TTFN and God Bless you and keep you. 🙂