Lessons from Jman

Lessons from Jman

March 24th  is Jman’s birthday, and we have known each other since 2004. Jman is the person who I talk to about everything and am privileged to do life with him. He is someone who can ease my anxieties with just one phrase, and God has given him so much compassion that I am blessed by him every day.

   In our 8 years of marriage, I have learned some things from him. I thought I share them in today’s blog.

   First life lesson: Love has no blinders or filters.

   We often treat love like a book that we read the cover and pick and choose who to love. However, Jman has taught me that Jesus wanted the idea of love to be without filters or blinders. It doesn’t discriminate by orientation, skin color, favorite superhero, football team, or even political understanding. It does not discriminate by religion or IQ. Loving other’s is easy. Just as Jesus described love, to love your neighbor as your self and the first commandment is love. Jman sees homeless people and gets them breakfast. He moves tables and chairs at a party without being asked. These are his ways to love.  

   Life Lesson #2

   Sometimes simple is best. I often over think things. I will get him a fantastic gift, and he loves it but even if I just made him cookies. He would be happy. Jman likes things like hamburgers and steaks, he loves just relaxing at home watching football. Simple is best. I have learned that he is just happy to have a chair and remote in his hand. Jman likes things simple.  

   Life lesson #3: Breathing is important

   Jman is an asthmatic. He has medicine, and during different times of the year, his asthma is worse than others. I can usually tell because his normal breathing develops a wheeze. He is very good at taking care of himself. However, watching my husband quietly and confidently take care of his breath throughout our marriage has taught me the importance of breathing. I  mean taking time out of a busy time to just process. Recently at an event that Jman and I were hosting, he came back frustrated because things weren’t going right. I pulled him aside and talked to him. I let him know that I have his back and it’s okay. We took that moment to breathe and listen. Listen to each other, listen to God, and this made our event better.

   Life Lesson #4

   It is okay to be angry about things sometimes. I grew up in a household if there was a problem, it would get fixed right away. If you had a disagreement with others, it was resolved quickly. Jman didn’t grow up that way, there was no solution to problems sometimes. He would then stuff the emotions and then get angry later on. It took me a while to figure out that sometimes his anger was displaced. I remember one time when he was hanging out with family, and I came over and asked why he was grumpy. I went through a list of people he interacted with and discovered someone had said something that he had bottled and made him mad. I am always mindful not to dismiss his feelings and reassure that his feelings have validity. Sometimes life sucks and it’s okay to be angry.

   Lesson 5: Dessert is always a win.

   Jman has an special diet. So something like an ice cream sandwich or piece of pie he can have, it will light up his entire face.  It is really remarkable to watch him try food that’s he never had before. And then gratitude he has afterward is always so exciting to watch. He is still up to tasting something new. And if he can have the dessert that is always a win. It reminds me not to take dessert for granted.


   Support is just showing up. Jman has taught me that showing support is just showing up. If you are at a party, you might be helping the entire time. Support is just being there for your friend. Even if life gets hard. You make time and go the extra mile. You move boxes. You support them and this what it means to be a friend.

Jeremiah 1:9-10 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said,

“Look, I have put my words in your mouth!

10 Today I appoint you to stand up

   against nations and kingdoms.

Some you must uproot and tear down,

   destroy and overthrow.

Others you must build up.

   and plant.”

TTFN and God Bless and keep you

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