Number 75

Today marks my 75 blogs, and I am surprised how quickly I took to this medium.  I am busy this week. I started classes for my Master program, and I as sift through the importance of technology in the classroom, my focus seems to be all over the place. Work started again after being on a three-week break, Jman’s schedule changed, and I am getting over a cold. Throughout this busy time, I am reflecting on how much this blog has helped me.

First, of it, Those bads mornings, wake in tears, angry at the world, hasn’t happened since July. WHich is one of those things I worry about saying out loud because then I fixate on it. But I haven’t had an angry or sad morning since July, and before that, I felt like it was once or twice a month where I would awake with tears was first on my mind.  Now I have a place where I can share my thoughts and journey. I can process my feelings.

I learned that being vulnerable is no sign of weakness but a sign of strength.  And the world did not implode on top of me for sharing my opinion and feelings.

I have seen God work through my blog, recently I had an uncomfortable situation at work and I this situation caused me to feel like I was horrible at my job and that I was losing lots of money for this business. Once I got past the immediate sponge/empath response, I was able to sift through the fact that I was enforcing policies. Then by God’s miracles, the person who leads this event apologized. I did not expect an apology, and by the time the apology came, I had already made peace with the situation so I could be humble and accepting. I don’t know it was my blog, but I think God was using it.

I’ve learned that talking about wanting to be parents and not having it happens is hard, but this is a topic that is not discussed — issues like these need to be talked about because this is when the steady rise.

Finally, I learned that God works in mysterious ways. I had been fighting God for years thinking that I didn’t have enough to say or that if I put myself out there on the internet, it would open up confrontations, which I hate. But I have learned I don’t need to suffer in silence. If I’m having a bad day, I am okay talking about it.

Thank You for listening. I know most mornings when its just a few people, I may never meet you but thank you for being encouraging and reading. Thank you for helping me through the hard days and the joyful days. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for being kind if you disagree with what I say. Finally, thank you for being a safe person. Thank You for a walk beside me on this journey.

TTFN and God Bless and Keep You.

Isaiah 40:28-29

The Lord is the everlasting God,

   the Creator of all the earth.

He never grows weak or weary.

   No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

29 He gives power to the weak

   and strength to the powerless.

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