High Hopes

I recently set my hopes on something very high, only to have them come crashing down,  with the crash came anger, frustration, sadness, and self-doubt. When this happened, I was reminded of the quote from Anne of Green Gables where Marilla Cuthbert cautioned young Anne Shirley about setting her hopes too high only to have them crashing down. Anne accepted that Marilla was right and she couldn’t help her self that setting her dreams on the birds’ wings and that they needed to fly.

When talking to Jman about this instance, He mentioned that my optimism was my best attribute. This is true I am an optimist. I seek happiness over sadness. I ship characters from tv shows that never end up together and I however never give up that that couple will be an item.  I look for the best in people even to the point of excusing others when they hurt me and say it was my fault. Also though meanness exists in my world. My expectations are often revamped or adjusted. However, there is a dark side of this, and it’s not making any plans at all.

When I was in High School, after my family moved, I decided that making plans was not a good idea. I had planned out my life through high school. Moving across the state made me angry at God and very distrusting, I decided not to plan. I stopped planning things that young girls plan weddings, houses, jobs. It was kinda a reset. 

However, the reset was not a good thing. It made me distrustful and scared to plan. Scared to allow me all plans to be placed in God’s hands, entirely rely on God. Meeting Jman helped me dream again.

Then when I was diagnosed with cancer, all I had was hope mix in a healthy dash of reality and worst-case scenarios. That was my life for almost a year. Good things mixed with let’s not get too excited about things because things could go wrong, and when they go wrong, they might go very wrong. 

Flash forward to today. I still set my hopes too high, only to have them come crashing down. I always get disappointed that fictional couples are supposed to be together are not. But this doesn’t prevent me from watching tv. Being an optimist means you look for the best in everything, and when everything crashes down, you still show up. I always show up even if I am emotionally drained because I believe regardless of how bad my day was before that today will be better. Because I am optimistic. I think without a doubt that things can only get better.  And I have hope that they can. 

Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”

John 6:29

TTFN and God Bless You and Keep you.

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