Today blogging is hard

Today is when Blogging is hard.

Today is one of those days where I am struggling with what to type.  I had three weeks of moments where I struggled, and then like any storm, there was a break, and last week was typical. Even boring. Now that I am reflecting, I am glad that I had a break in the storm and tiresome week. However, it makes for a boring blog. 

We went on a picnic on Saturday and sat outside and just breathed. It was beautiful and what both Jman and I needed to get out of our heads.

Since I started blogging, I have been trying to blog every week, two days a week. I have also had days where the voice in my head says “You have nothing profound to say today” or “you life has evened out and your readers don’t want to hear about what ships you are supporting” and finally “You are so boring! Why would people want to hear from you?”

Today is the day where I am processing too much, and life is too loud. Even though emotionally, we have gotten off the emotional roller coaster. The outside world is scary

I started a blog with all the times I have been told no in my life. Then I started another blog that was about simple things. But both of those felt like a character that I was creating. I don’t need to be someone I’m not. I am Danie. I watch too much tv. I am a music junky. I watch shows to see if there is a relationship between two characters (in the fandom we call it a ship). I don’t need to hide behind my poetry, my character, or my moral lesson. 

Today I’ll just share what is up with me. I didn’t sleep well last night; I don’t know why, just was tossing and turning all night. I don’t have to go to work until later today. I do feel a little empty and drained, but that probably because I help people all the time. When I feel like I can turn on, my brain is when I cook. Or it’s autopilot. I’m not sure.  

August is here, and that makes me nervous about September. I am reminding myself that I over analyzing things from this weekend. But with those explaining things, I need to remind myself that forgiveness and love need to pour into my attitude because I am analyzing something like a hug or not fair to the other person. I am trying to look for the good even though I feel my scars flare up and with my scars my walls come up.

Another thing I am avoiding is how the world scares me right now. There were some horrible things happened this weekend and traveling into a world where people can act on their emotions scares me more than I like to acknowledge. The world is scary.

I don’t have any moral lessons today. But I do think; it is the simple things: Like going on a picnic, receiving a hug from a friend, praying for others, even strangers. Be kind to each other. Be human to each other. Be compassionate to each other. Remember what might seem like an issue to you might be life-changing to someone else. Breathe, smile, laugh, pray about everything. 

It okay to feel drained, or that world is too loud. But continue to show up. Smile even though your heart might be breaking and just live. 

The teaching of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand.

Psalm 119:130 NLT

TTFN and God Bless and Keep you.

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