How am I?

 How am I?

    Today I would much rather talk about the Characters that I have been into, or movies that I saw or ships that I ship — anything to avoid talking about myself. I good friend asked me a couple of days ago, and I responded okay.  I am okay. Coming back from Disney World, I jumped back into work. 

    As I jumped back into work, real-life came back almost as fast as Big Thunder Railroad, friends went on vacation, and other friends became nosy and said hurtful things. All those things led to me feeling distant, angry, jealous, sad, and empty at times.  

    However, though I was struggling, God knew what would make me feel encouraged. My husband sending me texts and listening to me talk about fandom, My sister, who lives far away, and she and I rarely speak, she reached out. I think she has a six sense when my heart is heavy because she always reaches out. A friend of mine reached out and just was encouraging and understanding.

    When I am struggling, it is so easy to ignore all that God has given me, and how blessed I am. I only focus on what my emotions are feeling, not the blessings that are happening around me.  One benefit is teaching poetry to special need adults. My students are so willing to learn and explore the poetic language. They love learning about figurative language and creating something from nothing. 

    Another blessing is my desk mate at work. She and I have been friends for years, and she is one of the safest friends I have. She is a beautiful artist and is super helpful and encouraging. I am so grateful for her. 

    Another blessing sometimes just being back at work. My work is busy, as I like to say is that I am putting out fires. Busy work helps clear my brain of the negative emotions I feel.  I pour myself into my classes and into my students try to be a positive person.

    Jman is always a blessing. He allows me to talk when I need to talk. Doesn’t push me to do things I don’t want to do. He is my prayer buddy at work when things seem to be spiraling out of control, and he is the person who I love talking too. He also encourages me and helps through my toughest days. 

    God has blessed me. And even if I am tired or my emotional capacity is lower. I am here to experience it today. And some days are hard but not unbearable. I still get the chance to show up, and that is the most vital blessing. 

    Good comes to those who lend money generously and conduct their business fairly.

Psalm 112:5 NLT