Reflections from this Weekend

Reflections of the Weekend

How was your weekend?

   Mine was good. I was swamped, we hung with friends and took a hike. It was beautiful and relaxing. Our friends and I just spent time together. I was a little nervous, sometimes my brain overthinks things. I was concerned because these friends were one of the first people to know we are trying to conceive and much like other conversations I have had with friends it revolves around babies and old wives tales. This couple just hung out with, there was no need for communication. The day was just hanging and spending time in each other’s presence and experiencing life together.

   I realized that what entails our relationship. This couple is supportive, we went to Hieachother’s weddings and stood by each other through our hardest times.  The conversation is what is needed to stay close, just being there, and experience life through communication. Just walking together and looking at the world through their eyes.

   We had church yesterday, and I struggled. I hadn’t been in a couple of weeks, but it was a soul searching time but that what church is supposed to be. The church is not where you come and pretend you are a stain glass window. It where we come broken and filled by God, love, and wisdom and be challenged.

   Then I came home relaxed, read fanfictions, and wrote fanfictions.  It was a great weekend.

   My blog was going to be about Funko pops and how I came about collecting them, but I knew that would be a wall to avoid what is really going on with me.

   Today is June 10, I am reminded about cancer and reflective but in a different way. A couple years ago I lost a student who was a cancer warrior as well. Now this student was amazing always asking How I was. She would ask the tough questions none of my other students would ask. She loved to dance and sing and sign. Her smile could light up a room. Today, as Facebook does it, reminded me of an award, I was able to give her. And it made me sad because I missed her.

   It always strikes me how I can be having a typical day, and suddenly I’m back in the chair in an overly decorated doctors office starring at a painting at the wall wishing I could actually breathe. I remember the doctor coming in and telling me that I had cancer and hoping I could run away. All of the options were bad, but this one seemed the worst. Except in all actuality, it was the best. I remember getting pneumonia shot and flu shot in the same arm. That weekend I was too sick to go to church. The announcement was made, and Jman had to face everyone by himself.  I remember coming to church the next week feeling like I already had the word patient written on my forehead. I remember feeling very out of place and one of the ladies who had been attending for years just hugged me. At that moment, I knew I would be able to make through the church service.

   Living life isn’t about the conversations but the moments where one can just be. Just breathe. Just feel and just take in the world that surrounds us. I had a good weekend. Cancer is still apart of my life, and we only take each moment as it comes.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Colossians 3:13

TTFN And God Bless you and Keep You:)

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